Where is the time?

Often it seems as though there isn't enough time to do the things that I plan on doing. Like writing something here, for instance. But when I think about it more, I realize that half of the time, at least, is wasted away thinking about how I have no time. And then I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about how I've created a conundrum for myself, to the point where I'm literally paralyzed in thought. You know that part in "Braveheart" where King Edward "Longshanks" is on his deathbed, and all he wants to know is that this Scottish a-hole William Wallace finally pays for his treason, but princess Frenchie whispers in his ear that she is carrying a-hole Wallace's child and then Wallace screams "FREEEEDDOOOOOM!!!!!!!", and Longshanks wants to tell her off so badly but he can't talk because his vocal chords are paralyzed? It's kind of like that.

So, in a concerted effort to alleviate this psychological pretzel, I recently purchased two books on "procrastination." Since I'm too embarrassed to be seen in the "self-help" section of Barnes & Noble, I decided to make my purchase online at Amazon.com. I love buying things on Amazon because I get such a comfortable sense of affirmation by the buyer comments before purchasing my widget. If I can't say to myself, "Hey man, that's a solid, well-thought through purchase" after clicking my submission, I always end up saddled with needless remorse (Like this Alabama t-shirt I ordered several months ago that I haven't worn but sits in the box, daring me to return it; but I cower in fear and regret every time). So when I read the impeccable reader reviews for these two books (the titles escape me at the moment, but they both had covers that donned huge, all-caps titles, like it was shouting at me to get my shit together) I pulled the trigger and bought them.

The more scholarly-looking of the two was my choice of reading on several out of town work trips, as I planned on reading it in-flight and during airport layovers. I took it on at least three trips. Damn thing never got out of that front pocket of my carry-on. Typical, right? I was procrastinating reading a book on procrastination. How original. Recently, however, my dogs ate this book. Seriously. The answers to my fears and the keys to unlocking my inner-success went right out of my dog's ass. Perfect.

I have the second book, though, thankfully. I've been meaning to read it for the past two months now. I've been thinking about it and thinking about it and thinking about it. I just don't seem to have the time......